1 00:00:00,110 --> 00:00:01,110 Splatoon! 2 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:37,719 18 below. 3 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,740 Hot water. Hot water. More hot water. Hey, 4 00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:42,199 what's going on in there? 5 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:42,999 Sergeant Bilko. 6 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,500 Oh, I wonder if it's going to be a boy or a girl. 7 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,360 Tragedy. Tragedy. What's wrong? 8 00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:52,340 Our sergeant has the sniffles. If this news reaches Moscow, they may attack 9 00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:53,340 tomorrow. 10 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:57,420 Shame on you. We lost sergeant in there with the medical officer. 11 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,580 Doctor, tell me everything. Don't spare me. I won't. 12 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:02,920 Here, serge. 13 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,160 Is that you, Dwayne? Give me your hand. 14 00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:06,910 It's growing dark in here. 15 00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:08,630 I'll raise a shake, can't you? 16 00:01:09,510 --> 00:01:12,290 Tell me everything, Doctor. What if I can't? I'll tell you what you've got. 17 00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:15,470 You've got what you get every winter. An insane desire to go to Florida. 18 00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:18,910 Florida? You mean my emergency furlough? It's out of the question. You're going 19 00:01:18,910 --> 00:01:19,548 to stay here. 20 00:01:19,550 --> 00:01:23,590 Oh, then this, then, is the thanks I get for the years of service to my country. 21 00:01:23,730 --> 00:01:27,210 Bilko, we all serve our country. But we serve it here, not in Florida. 22 00:01:27,410 --> 00:01:30,950 But, sir, I... Bilko, you're staying here. But, my God. 23 00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:35,010 Sarge, Sarge, why don't you appeal to the client? Quiet, forget it. 24 00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:37,720 Captain is right. I've got to stop thinking of sunshine and beaches. 25 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:38,960 This is my post. 26 00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:40,800 I'm a soldier on duty in here. 27 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:42,780 Here is... It's 20 below. 28 00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:44,200 Take it easy. 29 00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:45,540 Well, 30 00:01:45,580 --> 00:01:48,700 it's one thing you've got to say about Fort Baxter. No matter how hot it is in 31 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:51,000 the summer, in the winter, it's unbearable. 32 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:55,080 It's hard to forget about it. But I'll tell you, look at the travel ads in this 33 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,880 holiday magazine. They drive anybody nuts. I don't want to hear about it. 34 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:58,880 at this one, Sarge. 35 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,119 Tropical sunshine. 36 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,280 Stop it. I don't want to hear about it. 37 00:02:02,510 --> 00:02:06,170 Balmy breezes whispering through the palms, saying... What? What? What are 38 00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:09,750 balmy breezes saying? What? They're saying, come to the Apex Travel Agency, 39 00:02:09,949 --> 00:02:13,030 headquarters for Caribbean cruises. Caribbean cruises. 40 00:02:13,270 --> 00:02:16,850 Look at this, Edson. Let me see it. Let me see it. Now you too can afford 41 00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:18,990 fabulous, enchanting Monte Carlo. 42 00:02:19,230 --> 00:02:24,130 Let yourself go on a dashing adventure into a new world of old world romance. 43 00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:29,730 Oh, Raul. 44 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,250 Gina. 45 00:02:32,490 --> 00:02:37,670 to see us here in romantic Monte Carlo, whisked across the Atlantic by plane at 46 00:02:37,670 --> 00:02:38,670 such low rates. 47 00:02:38,770 --> 00:02:41,230 How on earth do Musselman Airlines do it? 48 00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:43,190 By smart operation, Gina. 49 00:02:43,690 --> 00:02:48,170 Musselman has eliminated all unnecessary personnel, such as co -pilots, 50 00:02:48,170 --> 00:02:52,850 stewardesses, experienced mechanics, and they've passed that saving on to you. 51 00:02:54,690 --> 00:02:59,910 And have you ever had a smoother ride than on Musselman's luxury airliners? By 52 00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:00,910 George, Gina. 53 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,900 Those one -engine planes are sturdy. 54 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:08,320 And we could see everything, thanks to the ingenious seating arrangements. 55 00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:09,740 Open cockpits. 56 00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:13,900 And here we are, in romantic Monte Carlo. 57 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,100 Gina! Oh, Raoul! 58 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:17,400 Gina! 59 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,280 Gina! Gina! 60 00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:27,110 Don't get out of here. Sarge, you've got to stop thinking about these things. 61 00:03:27,270 --> 00:03:30,550 Yeah, Sarge. The medical officer, the colonel, the post commander, they're all 62 00:03:30,550 --> 00:03:32,590 united this winter to keep you from going south. 63 00:03:32,810 --> 00:03:33,810 Why? Why? 64 00:03:33,910 --> 00:03:36,470 You think I was going to give military secrets to Jefferson Davis? 65 00:03:36,970 --> 00:03:38,330 What do they want? Hold on, Will. 66 00:03:38,810 --> 00:03:42,110 Oh, you know, if you close your eyes, you can just picture you're in a 67 00:03:42,110 --> 00:03:44,110 barracks holding your hands over a lousy heater. 68 00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,430 I've got to get to Florida. 69 00:03:45,670 --> 00:03:48,270 Sarge, why don't you just forget about it? Forget about it? Sure, it's easy for 70 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:51,150 you. You've never been to Florida, have you? No, but the guys in the 2nd Platoon 71 00:03:51,150 --> 00:03:54,090 Company A, they all went to Miami last year. Just about this time of year, too. 72 00:03:54,490 --> 00:03:54,969 To Florida? 73 00:03:54,970 --> 00:03:57,450 Yeah, well, you know, every year they have that all -army singing contest that 74 00:03:57,450 --> 00:04:00,370 they run. That's right, Ernie. They send the best platoon from each camp down to 75 00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:04,010 Miami for the finals. Hey, Sarge, maybe we... Forget it. Have you ever heard 76 00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,010 this platoon sing? 77 00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:07,810 Or even in assemblies, the colonel has stopped them from singing the Star 78 00:04:07,810 --> 00:04:08,809 Spangled Banner. 79 00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:10,790 He says it makes the song sound subversive. 80 00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:14,610 Forget it. We got no chance. That's right. What chance would we have? The 81 00:04:14,610 --> 00:04:17,850 chance we'd ever have of winning a singing contest is if we were the only 82 00:04:17,850 --> 00:04:18,850 in it. 83 00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:20,310 Hold that. What did you say? 84 00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:21,810 I said the only ones in it. 85 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,770 If we were the only ones in it. 86 00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:27,370 Why not? But, Sarge, every platoon's going to sign. Sign? What are they going 87 00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:28,570 sign? An entry blank, what? 88 00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:31,610 Suppose there's only one entry blank, and we're the only ones that got one, 89 00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:32,630 we're the only ones that signed it. 90 00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:33,870 Why not? 91 00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:37,270 Thunder! On a double look at ice, thunder here, thunder here! 92 00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:41,550 Why don't you go open a loss for duty in the mail room? The mail room? Yeah. 93 00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:43,890 Now, a few weeks from Washington, there's going to be these entry blanks 94 00:04:43,890 --> 00:04:46,530 through. Before they have a chance to distribute them, take them all. Don't 95 00:04:46,530 --> 00:04:47,530 anybody see them. Bring them to me. 96 00:04:47,690 --> 00:04:48,690 Sarge, that's stealing. 97 00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:49,689 You're right. 98 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:50,730 That is stealing. 99 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:52,170 But when it's 20 below. 100 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,240 And with the whole platoon having a chance to go to Florida, what do we do? 101 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,280 steal. There's a good boy. 102 00:04:59,500 --> 00:04:59,900 Not 103 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:13,620 too 104 00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:15,340 close, Colonel. Those mosquitoes are killers. 105 00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:17,180 I've seen enough. 106 00:05:17,270 --> 00:05:20,630 I must say they gave me a chill. They should. You're looking at death. The 107 00:05:20,630 --> 00:05:21,950 Anilosphenecti mosquitoes. 108 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:27,930 Carriers of the 100 % fatal Caledonia fungus fever. 100 % fatal? On every 109 00:05:27,930 --> 00:05:29,810 we tested, death came in seconds. 110 00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:31,110 Take her away, Jenkins. 111 00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:39,390 Gentlemen, you finally succeeded in isolating the fungus fever carrier. 112 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:43,530 Congratulations. I'll make the announcement. Not yet, sir. Not yet? No, 113 00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:46,130 we've tested human beings, everything we've done is worthless. 114 00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:49,250 Colonel, you must get us a group of soldiers. Soldiers? No, that's asking 115 00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,950 much. Colonel, what's that? It was only when the great Walter Reed tested the 116 00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:55,090 deadly yellowjack mosquito on soldiers that yellow fever was wiped out. You 117 00:05:55,090 --> 00:05:56,770 get us some army volunteers. 118 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,490 Volunteers? How can you ask soldiers to make a sacrifice as great as that? 119 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,710 Colonel, that's the story of medicine. The sacrifice of a few to protect 120 00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:05,850 millions. Well, I can only ask volunteers. 121 00:06:06,510 --> 00:06:08,950 Lieutenant? Yes, sir? I want a request for volunteers. 122 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,940 make it in the form of an application start with a clear statement of the 123 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:16,820 and rush the applications to every post in the united states army yes sir 124 00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:20,960 gentlemen we can only hope that somewhere there are american soldiers 125 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,780 enough to make the final sacrifice 126 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,670 May I remind you, gentlemen, this is a singing contest we're entering, not a 127 00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:33,670 hard -calling festival. 128 00:06:34,450 --> 00:06:37,010 Sarge, what are we knocking ourselves out for? If we're the only ones in this 129 00:06:37,010 --> 00:06:39,630 camp that are going to enter the contest, what have you got to worry 130 00:06:39,630 --> 00:06:40,630 have we got to worry about? 131 00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:43,350 We're not going to pick winners. We've got to make an attempt at singing, don't 132 00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:44,350 we? Now, look at I. 133 00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:48,230 Do what I tell you. I got him. I got him. 134 00:06:48,570 --> 00:06:49,570 Wait a minute. The application? 135 00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,430 Yeah. Now, look, Sarge, I got him from Washington. 136 00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:55,130 Let me worry about it. Give one to the boys here. I'll burn a lot of them. You 137 00:06:55,130 --> 00:06:56,230 get rid of the rest. Sign. 138 00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:57,810 Sign that, fellas. You know what that means? 139 00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:01,610 That means we're going to Miami, boys. Just sign it. Do what the old sergeant 140 00:07:01,610 --> 00:07:02,950 tells you to do. Sign it. 141 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:07,930 Goldman. Did you sign? Yeah. What are you standing there for? Pack my bikini, 142 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:08,950 blow up my beach ball. 143 00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:13,890 Sign it, gentlemen. I ain't signing anything till I read it. There's a lot 144 00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:16,790 writing here on the top. There's one in every post, isn't there? Just read the 145 00:07:16,790 --> 00:07:17,890 bottom, that's all. What does it say? 146 00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:21,870 Should any of the men above be selected, they have to be sent at once to Miami, 147 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:24,250 Florida. Well? Well, I'm signing it. 148 00:07:25,370 --> 00:07:26,610 Go on, then. Yeah, right, sir. 149 00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:28,450 Take this over to the administration. 150 00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:31,070 Put it in so nobody sees it. All right, boys. Now, look. 151 00:07:31,770 --> 00:07:34,910 For once, our plans have come to the way we want. Now, let's practice so we'll 152 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,090 make it look good at least. Now. 153 00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:42,190 We're heading for the last round. 154 00:07:42,710 --> 00:07:45,190 Write your words and let me hear the diction. 155 00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:50,890 On a saddle all came for the last time and rock. 156 00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:59,960 boy is heavenly heavenly he opens his mouth and the angelus comes through 157 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:06,560 sweet 158 00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:28,550 Yes, hello. 159 00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:32,370 Yes, get me Colonel Wister of the Army Medical Corps, Tropical Disease 160 00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:33,789 Laboratory, Miami, Florida. 161 00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:37,909 Bilko. How I've misjudged him. 162 00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:41,370 Hello. Hello, yes, this is a priority. 163 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:42,569 What's that? 164 00:08:42,570 --> 00:08:43,570 You're sure? 165 00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:44,970 A whole platoon. 166 00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:46,090 Captain, get this down. 167 00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,450 Port Baxter, Kansas. Sergeant Ernest Bilko. 168 00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:50,590 Yes, Captain, I'm flying immediately. Get them. 169 00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,530 A motor pool platoon at an unimportant post in Kansas. 170 00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:59,110 Gentlemen. I'm proud to be in the same army with him. I'll get you packed, sir. 171 00:08:59,210 --> 00:09:00,410 I'll get the mosquito ready. 172 00:09:02,590 --> 00:09:05,570 Now, remember, gentlemen, from the top that I want it, Acapulco. 173 00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:06,990 Understand? 174 00:09:08,570 --> 00:09:14,370 We're heading for the last round. Don't fight your birds. Don't the men. Don't 175 00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:19,110 have low pain for the last time and rise. 176 00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:24,870 Hold me back. I can't keep my hands off this boy. 177 00:09:27,790 --> 00:09:28,870 It's time you're killed. 178 00:09:29,590 --> 00:09:32,350 What is it? A strange officer's coming. This is the officer that comes to pick 179 00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:33,009 the winner. 180 00:09:33,010 --> 00:09:34,290 I wonder who the winner will be. 181 00:09:35,230 --> 00:09:38,570 Don't give it away. Whatever you do, don't break up. Play it safe. 182 00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,110 All right, there's a drilling exercise, gentlemen. 183 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:42,530 Attention! 184 00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:44,729 At ease, men. 185 00:09:44,730 --> 00:09:45,730 Thank you, sir. 186 00:09:46,510 --> 00:09:49,470 Are you Sergeant Belko? Yes, sir. Is there anything I can do for you, sir? 187 00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:52,750 Sergeant, are these the fucking trees of you and your men? 188 00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:54,330 Yes, sir, I believe it is. 189 00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:58,580 Yes, sir. 190 00:09:58,660 --> 00:10:02,460 Do you realize that out of thousands of soldiers, you are the only men who've 191 00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:03,460 signed this application? 192 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,499 Oh, indeed. 193 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,500 Well, think of that. 194 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,120 I'm going to ask you not to do that. 195 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,000 What? Besides, the boys are in a jovial mood. Oh, yes, sir. We figured we'd sign 196 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:15,160 up. After all, we know we have very little chance of surviving the big test. 197 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,580 as we say in the army, what a kismet. 198 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,620 It's him. He's the jovial one of the group. Dolman is always making... It's 199 00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:25,510 incredible. You can still laugh. 200 00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:29,550 Well, I suppose you meant to want a few days to say goodbye to your fellow 201 00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:33,010 soldiers on the post. Not necessarily, sir. We just thought we'd slip off into 202 00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:34,150 the night just like that. 203 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:35,590 Just like that. 204 00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:41,450 I'm going to ask you... I'm sorry about the men, sir. They're so glad to see an 205 00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:48,410 officer, sir. I don't want to take you and your men to Miami 206 00:10:48,410 --> 00:10:49,590 unless you're sure that... 207 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,600 Bet you've prepared yourself. 208 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,920 Why, sir, we're fully prepared, as we can well show you. All right, gentlemen. 209 00:10:56,100 --> 00:11:00,420 We're heading for the land of the sun. 210 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:07,500 We're heading for the land of the sun. So 211 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,660 we have another chorus, sir. 212 00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:13,600 Jacobin, I salute you. 213 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,089 broke up myself. 214 00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:23,690 Gentlemen, I salute you. 215 00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:28,170 Hey, Sarge, Sarge, I don't like it. Why don't you like it? Well, destroying the 216 00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:31,030 application so the other platoons on the post couldn't do that. Oh, isn't it too 217 00:11:31,030 --> 00:11:34,090 bad about the other platoons? Ritzig and his kitchen platoon just came back from 218 00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:37,510 sunny California for a cook and bake a refresher course, didn't they? How about 219 00:11:37,510 --> 00:11:40,430 Grover? Did he spend a whole month of September with his whole platoon? They 220 00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:43,790 were down there doing the signal cord drill in Texas where it's warm. 221 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,350 We're the only platoon on the post that hasn't been down south. 222 00:11:46,890 --> 00:11:51,230 Let me tell you something, fellas. Whatever we got waiting for us in Miami, 223 00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:52,230 got coming. 224 00:11:56,010 --> 00:11:57,010 It's all arranged, Colonel. 225 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,229 They're here? 226 00:11:58,230 --> 00:12:00,810 Until the test tomorrow morning, we're putting them up at the Thunderbird, 227 00:12:00,990 --> 00:12:02,830 Miami's most luxurious motel. 228 00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:06,450 That's right, sir. The Pentagon says that they have anything they want. 229 00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:08,010 Yes, sir. 230 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,320 Fine. This is perfect. 231 00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:26,660 Now, Mr. Pollock, remember, this is the men's last 24 hours. Anything they want, 232 00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:27,459 I understand. 233 00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:30,900 Never mind the expense. Just send the bill. There will be no bill, Colonel, 234 00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:32,220 what these gallant boys are doing. 235 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,620 Mr. Pollock, we must be as brave as they are. 236 00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:39,020 I know it's just that... I understand. 237 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,900 Dr. Milko, will you come in? Yes, sir. 238 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:46,600 Wow. 239 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:48,840 Now, how do you like it? 240 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:54,060 Really wonderful, sir. Colonel, may I thank you for taking time out from your 241 00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:58,580 busy schedule to show us all these wonderful, fabulous motels? And also, if 242 00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:01,580 may go back to our barracks. Your barracks? Yes, sir. I have to make a few 243 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:04,180 calls. Some old college chums are waiting to hear from me. You can have... 244 00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:05,880 Sergeant, you men are staying here. 245 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:12,500 Here? That's right. You have this whole wing. We'll... We'll pick you up in the 246 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,500 morning. 247 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:15,240 Have a good time. 248 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,980 You must admit, this is living. 249 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:26,879 I'm hungry. 250 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,500 Hey, let's order something. Hold it, hold it. Wait a minute. Just because by 251 00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:33,020 accident we got this big pipe dream, let's not push our luck. I mean, don't 252 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,600 advantage. You just don't lift the floor and say, give me room, sir. 253 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,100 Send me up some caviar, some roast takies, some peasants, and a blonde, a 254 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:40,300 brunette, and a couple of wrenches. 255 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,200 Hey, what are we wasting time for? The Miami sun is waiting. 256 00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:45,660 Hold it, hold it, hold it. 257 00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:47,060 Hold it. 258 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,080 Gentlemen, 259 00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:51,420 we've just got a few hours to do this, and let's have all the fun we can. But 260 00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:52,580 we'll do it in an orderly fashion. 261 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,040 Who's for water skiing? 262 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,960 Right here, sir. Who wants deep sea fishing? Right here, sir. You are 263 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,300 to get the temperature of the water. I want no children. 264 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:06,160 What is this, sir? 265 00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:09,840 This is what you ordered from room service. Oh, we were just kidding. This 266 00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:10,860 girls. 267 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,920 What we've always dreamed about. 268 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,620 Yeah, thank you. 269 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,660 I can't help but feel there's some mistake here, sir. Sergeant, the Army 270 00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:28,220 orders to give you anything you want. 271 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,479 The Army? 272 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,480 Our Army? 273 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,160 The United States Army? 274 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:33,119 That's right. 275 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,900 They must have approved a new military budget. 276 00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:36,860 Will there be anything else? 277 00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:39,400 Well, sir, there's something wrong here. 278 00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:41,520 No, Sergeant, the Thunderbird is at your disposal. 279 00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:45,240 When I told these guests that you were here, they insisted on doing their part 280 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,940 to make your 24 hours with us the happiest of your life. They did? 281 00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,820 Get into your bathing suits, boys. 282 00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:54,250 We'll meet you at the pool with the rest of the girls. Ta -ta. 283 00:14:54,490 --> 00:14:55,490 Ta -ta. 284 00:14:56,690 --> 00:14:59,890 Remember, boys, anything you want, just ask. Just ask? 285 00:15:00,230 --> 00:15:02,870 I want the blunt. I want the brunette. I want the drumstick. 286 00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:08,210 Sir, now, once and for all, there is something wrong here. Absolutely nothing 287 00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:09,210 wrong, Sergeant. 288 00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:13,870 Oh, come on. What are you talking about? I can't help but think of this. 289 00:15:14,090 --> 00:15:18,190 What if you fellas insist? All right. Like the saying goes, let's eat, drink, 290 00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:19,830 and be merry, for tomorrow we die. 291 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:27,210 What's the matter with him? What's the matter with him? You'd cry too if you 292 00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:30,290 were in a beautiful motel like this and a bunch of sloths came in and messed it 293 00:15:30,290 --> 00:15:32,850 up. And may I ask what we're standing around for? 294 00:15:33,790 --> 00:15:34,790 Let's mess it up. 295 00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:39,890 We'll be in the control room next door. 296 00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:41,930 We'll feed the mosquitoes through this aperture. 297 00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:43,930 And the man will just stand here like sheep. 298 00:15:44,350 --> 00:15:47,550 I'm sorry, sir, but I've been with them and they're so cheerful. 299 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,640 Why, only actually, they swam and danced and sang. 300 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:54,300 It's so cold -blooded. They're soldiers. They know what they're doing. 301 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,440 Let's try to act like soldiers, too, about this. Yes, sir. A camera will film 302 00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,259 their reactions. 303 00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:02,120 This microphone will pick up any sound they may make when... Never mind. 304 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,560 Let's get it over with. 305 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,320 Sergeant Milko. 306 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,520 This way, men. Come on, then. 307 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,440 Are you ready for us, sir? 308 00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:11,900 Yes, Sergeant. 309 00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:14,280 Colonel, sir, I may never see you again. 310 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,260 And so, on behalf of the men... 311 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,540 I would like to thank you for making the last 24 hours the most pleasant we've 312 00:16:19,540 --> 00:16:20,540 ever witnessed. 313 00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,420 Good luck. 314 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,760 All right, fellows. This microphone is going to pick up every word we say. Do 315 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,740 you understand? I want it nice and clear and everything's enunciated. Let's be 316 00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:30,519 proud of ourselves. 317 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,100 We're ready, sir. Anytime you are, sir. 318 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:33,620 And five. 319 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:35,460 This is it. 320 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:36,980 You know what to do, Jenkins. 321 00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:40,280 Yes, sir. One mosquito at a time. Good. 322 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,560 We're starting, Sergeant. 323 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,260 All right, sir. Testing. One, two, three, four. Hello, Max. Hello, Max. 324 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,100 Are we coming through all right, sir? 325 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,680 Fine. Fine. 326 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,260 Stand by, Jenkins. 327 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,380 This is it. First specimen entering chamber, 0951. 328 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,300 Pull it! 329 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:04,480 We're heading for the last round of... General Jenkins, pull it! 330 00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:10,040 It was all right, sir, until they began singing, but I can't... 331 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:11,379 That's ridiculous. 332 00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:12,380 Here, I'll do it. 333 00:17:13,579 --> 00:17:17,540 I can't. 334 00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:19,180 Why must they save? 335 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,819 How brave can you be? 336 00:17:21,020 --> 00:17:23,380 Something wrong, sir? 337 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,319 Is there anything wrong? 338 00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:27,560 Listen to that brave man. 339 00:17:27,859 --> 00:17:28,860 What do we do now? 340 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,880 General. What's the matter down here? Why aren't you going ahead on schedule? 341 00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:34,280 They're so brave, General. 342 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:37,580 Shame on you men. Don't you realize that by prolonging it like this, you're just 343 00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:38,720 making them suffer? Give me that microphone. 344 00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:41,990 I'm sorry, boys. We'll have to start the test again. 345 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:45,050 All right, sir. We're at your disposal. We have no future plans. 346 00:17:45,570 --> 00:17:46,449 Thank you. 347 00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:47,450 We'll get started. 348 00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:50,950 All right, I'll do it. What do I do? Just pull that rope, sir. It raises the 349 00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:55,290 door. Officers in the United States Army. We're taking it again, men. We're 350 00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:56,550 ready. Here goes. 351 00:17:57,010 --> 00:18:00,710 We're heading for the last roundup. 352 00:18:01,050 --> 00:18:02,050 Pull it, sir. 353 00:18:03,030 --> 00:18:04,610 I can't. 354 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:08,050 I can't. I must sing. 355 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,140 Would you deny them the right to face death with a song, sir? 356 00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:14,720 Men, I've been through two wars. I've seen courage and bravery. 357 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:15,859 Don't do it, sir. 358 00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:16,860 No. 359 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:19,720 Here goes. 360 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,880 Stand along, little doggy, stand along, little doggy. Hold it, hold it. 361 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:35,160 Thank you, Mosquito. It was a natural 362 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,160 instinct. 363 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:53,220 We were just going to... 364 00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:06,580 Excuse me, men. Is there something wrong, sir? No, no. How are we doing, 365 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:10,200 are doing fine, fine. Thank you, sir. Just stay right where you are and 366 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:10,959 as you were. 367 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,600 Oh, and, uh, sergeant. Yes, sir? 368 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,320 Don't kill the mosquitoes. 369 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,320 What's that? Don't kill the mosquitoes? What's that? 370 00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:23,880 Don't kill the mosquitoes. 371 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,660 We don't ask any questions so far. 372 00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:30,310 We've been having a ball. You don't want us to kill the mosquitoes. We don't 373 00:19:30,310 --> 00:19:31,310 kill them. 374 00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:34,970 Okay, we're sending them all out. 375 00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:39,470 Don't kill the mosquitoes. 376 00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:40,810 They're fighting. 377 00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:42,870 They're fighting. 378 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:50,050 There goes the first one. 379 00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:53,570 It's horrible. It's a slaughter. 380 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,800 Well, something's wrong, sir. They should all have been stricken by now, 381 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:57,499 only one. 382 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,700 Well, give us one to work on. It may give us the answer. 383 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:09,220 Anything new on Private Doberman? He's still alive, but... Oh, no, he's grown. 384 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,720 It's inhuman, sir. It's inhuman. It was for science, Colonel. 385 00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:14,200 How did the rest of them feel? 386 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:15,760 Strangely enough, they seemed disappointed. 387 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,460 They claimed they weren't given a chance to finish their song. 388 00:20:19,140 --> 00:20:20,160 Such brave men. 389 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,400 Here, Captain Howard. 390 00:20:21,980 --> 00:20:22,980 Well, Captain? 391 00:20:23,110 --> 00:20:24,110 Is it over? 392 00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:25,750 Doberman is gone? 393 00:20:26,650 --> 00:20:27,650 You've saved him? 394 00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:29,330 Well, that's miraculous. 395 00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:32,270 What did you give him? A tablespoon of bicarbonate of soda. 396 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:36,210 Bicarbonate? In all my years in the army, that's the worst case of 397 00:20:36,210 --> 00:20:37,169 I've ever seen. 398 00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:41,790 Indigestion? We check with the motel. In 24 hours, that man in there ate three 399 00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:44,550 turkeys, two hams, and both... That's enough! 400 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:45,910 What happened? 401 00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:47,490 Weren't the men stung? Oh, yes. 402 00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:51,450 After that, we found the mosquito we developed has no effect on the human 403 00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:55,150 No matter what, their courage will be recognized. 404 00:20:56,270 --> 00:20:58,270 Do you have a ball? Do you have a ball? 405 00:20:58,670 --> 00:21:01,210 Sarge, what a trip that was. Hey, Sarge, how's my tan? 406 00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,770 Hey, listen, one thing I forgot to tell you. What we did, burning those 407 00:21:04,770 --> 00:21:06,450 applications, that's federal stuff. 408 00:21:06,670 --> 00:21:09,230 Not a word of... Look out! There's brass coming! 409 00:21:09,610 --> 00:21:10,610 They found her! 410 00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:12,149 Not a word. 411 00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:13,150 Hey, Sarge! 412 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,820 General Owen would like to speak to you and your men. General, I'd like to 413 00:21:17,820 --> 00:21:20,760 explain. It was cold. That's why I burned it. Sergeant, take your place at 414 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:21,479 front of your men. 415 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,480 Yes, sir. 416 00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:26,500 Trouble? By an act of Congress... Act of Congress. 417 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:27,720 Federal rap. 418 00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:28,740 Please, Sergeant. 419 00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:34,520 By an act of Congress, the citation of valor has been awarded to you and your 420 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,360 platoon. To us, sir? Yes. 421 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,680 What did you do? Did you do anything? By signing an application. 422 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,900 Who signed? What is it? Thus, volunteering to remain in a room filled 423 00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:48,320 mosquitoes. Mosquitoes? I told you to let it... Carrying the fatal fungus 424 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,320 disease. 425 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:53,660 And allowing yourself to be bitten by same in which death was a certainty. 426 00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:57,880 And yet in the face of this danger, your bravery, your valor, your willingness 427 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:02,700 to sacrifice your lives for the cause of medical science, I hereby present you 428 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:03,800 with this medal of valor. 429 00:22:07,850 --> 00:22:11,990 Also seen in tonight's show were Jay Barney as Colonel Wister, Bob Lieb as 430 00:22:11,990 --> 00:22:16,230 Captain Haver, John Griggs as Captain Billings, Nelson Olmsted as Captain 431 00:22:16,230 --> 00:22:20,650 Hedges, and John Boroff as General Owens. Tina Louise played the girl in 432 00:22:20,650 --> 00:22:21,650 Monte Carlo ad.